So here I am, on the crest of a rather large and imminent wave. Over the past few days and weeks, I have watched deep-set fears and insecurities rise up strong and send me into allsorts of spirals. Yet just as I seemed to reach a peak of overwhelm, I received a rainbow-coloured figure sat playing Coldplay’s “The scientist” at Brighton station’s beautifully antique piano, labelled with a sign Play me…
Tears that have been building up and held in over days, weeks, and months, flowed softly and powerfully behind my darkened sunglasses and I released a huge breath of intensity.
I found myself walking through the Laines (eccentric boutiques and independent creative bundles of artistic shops and studios), to return a newly bought ring, that was not fitting well to my hand. As I then tried on various sized alternatives, I suddenly felt an energy to switch the said ring (The hand of Fatima) to another; it seemed to be drawing me in. The softly spoken South-American jeweller looked straight into my eyes and said “but of course, this is the one for you. It is the flower and also seed of life. It is very powerful and it is for you. Look it up.”
I graciously thanked him and began to feel some more ease arriving within my breath, in spite of the simultaneous growing sadness also there, (that I had been so unable to stay calm and loving around others who had been repeatedly giving me support and acceptance).
As I took solace in a low-lighted room, burning frankincense, writing poetry, and listening to the silence, company arrived in the form of a beautiful man, arriving with a hand-made (and very lovingly too) piece of jewellery for me. A necklace made from silver and sequoia wood, with nothing other than the flower of life carved in the central circle.
Big spirals all around my heart and soul, and then in the same day, I was gifted by the universe by two physical reminders of the Circles of Life…..
But I write of this why now do you ask? For what reason is this not just a tale of serendipitous events that happened to have happened, one to use at the dinner table, or round the fire, when swapping anecdotes about the coincidences of life? Because of the source of the spiral.
I was born in a country different to the one that I have spent the longest part of my life in, I have been travelling to countries near and far for most of my life, I have lived on the other side of the world, and I have walked barefoot across desserts, long grasses, mountains and hills, sands and stones, red-cracked clay, pavements and cobbles.
I have created a life for my self that really has contained all that my heart desires. I am in love in so many ways, I have a place I can very clearly call home, I have been privileged to carve out a career that represents my beliefs and allows my skills, knowledge and intuition to work strongly in-sync together, I see the amazing waters of the sea every day, and I can genuinely see that I am loved, by many people, far and wide.
I believe it was Brené Brown or Byron Katie who made the statement, “How do I know I don’t need what I want? Because I don’t have it.” Whoever it was, how true this is.
I have so much abundance, love and gratitude. And tomorrow I am going to take myself on a rather large and life-changing new wander. Words and thoughts flow often through my mind and I am often thinking at a speed much beyond that which my voice can indicate (and yes, I do know I also speak pretty fast at times!). I am introducing my blog, wordsofawanderingwonderer.com to you, in this piece. To invite you to join me on an adventure like none other that I have been on before.
My fears are strong and my heart feels both torn and full. You are most welcome to join me along the way of this wander.
Africa seems to have called me for longer than I can remember And I am putting total faith and trust in this. That all I have, I take with me. And all that I need, is always within. I step forwards tomorrow towards an adventure that at this point feels beyond my mind, and that I anticipate with great wonder. What does the mother land of Africa want me to learn? Join me and we shall find out.
We all know that phrase, “life can change in an instant”. Well here I am, taking myself with full force, forwards to remind myself of this and to notice that at times I can forget to notice these instances.